The "S" Word

One evening *Olga asked her son *Milton if he would please arrange the books on the shelves more neatly. Milton whined as he was wont to do, saying that it was too hard and besides, the sliding doors on the shelves stick! "I'm sure you'll figure out a way to do it," she assured him. Olga liked the shelves. In fact, she had spent many a month trying to find just the right piece, size, style and color, to hold the plethora of books and was elated to find just the right one! This was it. Yes the door stuck, but a gentle push had always done the trick.

As Olga worked away busily in the next room she could hear Milton banging books around and roughly sliding doors to and fro. She called several times for him to be careful, each caution being met with grumbling from Milton, who was about to get it from Olga.

At one point, Olga heard a violent crash from the hall. She called to him, "Milton, if you break my shelves your going to have to replace them, you know!" Milton was tentative as he replied, "Well, I guess I'd better start saving then..."

Olga was out of her chair like in a flash to see exactly what he meant by that sassy return. As she examined the shelves she saw that the door had been opened with so much force it had knocked the thing completely apart--no small feat. "What? You broke them!" she said (with gusto). "Milton, I can't believe it! You broke the damn shelves!" Now, Olga was not generally one to curse, especially to her beloveds.

Milton, having read the word in the Bible and knowing it to be associated with bad things, timidly replied, "Well, I couldn't get the door to move."

"That is a stupid reason!" said Olga (with gusto). Olga, knowing she was about to strangle Milton, took her leave and marched downstairs to walk laps around their ugly couch. By this time the other 4 children who could walk, hearing the commotion, had run upstairs to see what was going on.

By and by, Olga came back upstairs where her 5 children waited with eyes the size of golf balls, knelt down and said, "Children. I need to apologize. I just said a very bad word. One we never say. ["Which one, which one!!" the little ones chirped] I'm not going to repeat it, but you older kids know which one I mean."

*Sassafras, the precocious 6-yr old daughter, solemnly clarified to all, "That's right, you guys. We never say the "S" word! Never!"

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the characters in this story.

The False Prophet

One June morning through the meadow going

Doris found a little daisy growing;

Blooming there, white and fair,

Nodding in the pleasant summer air,

"Tell me, daisy, quickly, truly tell,

If my dear one loves me well.

Will he be true till life is done?"

Then she plucked the petals one by one:

"He loves me! He loves me not!

(Alas, to be deserted is love's sorest smart!)

He loves me, he loves me not!

(Be still, be still the rapid beating of my heart!)

"He loves me, he loves me not!

(Beware oh little flow'ret, how you play your part!)

He loves me, he loves me not!

You lying little daisy, he loves me!

~John Prindle Scott

Flashback Fr...Monday

And thus began my illustrious career as multitasker (as long as one of the tasks is eating).

Elder Adam Mikkelsen
1/3/10: "...I also got hit on my bike this week when I got sandwiched between a scooter I was pulling over and a car. Took off some good skin and left a nice bruise but nothing really bad. No one fell over and I was able to set up a time to meet with both of them. Sweet!"

LUNCH by William

This little boy is a very enthusiastic lunch-maker. He makes us lunch EVERY DAY.

And, he sets the table.

And, he watches while you enjoy the meal he's made you.

And, you have to eat it. All of it.
And, you have to say thank you at the end.

Where's the Remote?

We've been having bad luck with our VCR/DVD player. A little while ago the VCR stopped working and shortly after that we lost the remote, so now DVDs are limited. Too much of a cheap skate to consider buying a new one, I thought I'd take it apart to see if there was something obvious wrong with it. My handy b-in-law Chace visiting with Rivka went and found a screw driver to get the project going. From the other room I heard him call, "Hey Anna, are you missing your remote?"Thanks, James.

Grandparents At It Again

Last year I composed a brief post on an especially cherished Christmas gift from my parents to Isaac. They outdid themselves this year. Bet you've never seen one of these before. In fact, I know you haven't because my mother made it for him.

A mink!

A pet mink!

A pet mink clip tie! It's a favorite, Grandma and Grandpa, both with Isaac, and with every child at church with two semi-functioning eyes and nerve endings in their fingertips. One little guy even called to see where Isaac had gotten it so that he could save his pennies to get one for himself. Thank you! (Your letter from Isaac will be coming soon.)

Winter Pruning

Why is it that these before and after pictures of the old girl remind me of the time I discovered wee Meggy had made it to church without her unders on? She's just so exposed!

In the bottom photo you can see that our sprinklers froze on (whatever that means). So water froze onto the sidewalk in layers each time the sprinkler ran over it until we had literally 2 solid inches of ice. The kids and I had a grand time "skating" on it until our wet blanket of a neighbor suggested we salt it immediately and post signs so nobody gets hurt, and that we might want to fix our broken sprinkler. Why didn't that occur to me? I clearly am not meant for city life...

To Do List

This was sitting on Isaac's desk the other day.Oh the days when life was so simple. Where have they gone? Will they ever come back?

(Regarding item #8: Jacob told Isaac that he stinks. Isaac asked if he should get some deodorant. Jake replied that he didn't stink like that, he stunk like he was dusty. Dusty? Granted, this is the child that came out of the shower yesterday insisting he had thoroughly washed, with a huge dry patch on one side of his head and bar soap remnants smeared on the other.)

(Another semi-applicable side note, while I'm at it: William has taken to smelling any part of himself that touches James. I watched him hit little Jimmy in a fit over a puzzle, then immediately sniff his fist before he continued his tirade. What is with these kids?!)

Oregon in Fall

What a glorious season. Michael snapped this picture during a fairly recent hike in the Umpqua wilderness only a few miles from our home. It's even better in person...

Dog, Anyone?

Have you ever heard that having a puppy is like having another child? Unless you have a Chinese Crested. Then it's more like having another teenager. Enjoy a tidbit of an email my sister Elizabeth sent:

Annie,

I couldn't resist sending this to you. I told you that I was looking at an exotic animal website. In addition to the wallabies, birds, zebu, etc., they also had some dogs, including Chinese Crested. On their site, they had this dog info to help inform potential buyers before they bought. Sure glad they did. Tell me when you want me to order one for you.

"Where the weather is dry you must keep the hairless dogs moisturized. One should bathe your dogs about every week or so during the summer, which includes a daily feet and belly rinse, and every 2 weeks during the winter. You can use a gentle oatmeal based Moisturizing Body lotion for the hairless.

"Some Cresteds, like people, are born with fair skin and some are born with better skin. Most of the Crested will go through a "teenage" period. This means that you may start to see more black heads and pimples to surface on the skin. This is normal, but some dogs will have no problem and others will have serious problems. Pimples may start around the age when their hormones are changing. With the Chinese Crested this can happen as early as 5 months of age to the age of a year old. The best secret is to keep them clean. During their acne period a nice daily wipe with a warm damp face cloth is sometimes the best remedy. If the problem persist (and it can last for a few months) or gets worst, you may try a lotion like Benzol or a gentle scrub like Noxzema. Remember to keep the skin clean. Talk to your vet and they might suggest a mild antibiotics, too."

Call me heartless, but any dog that goes through puberty and has acne breakouts on their nasty skin is a dog I don't want. But, to each his own. Tell me what you think!

Where's Waldo?

Getting warmer...

It's a good thing this little guy and his creator are so cute or the artist would be dead right now.

Is is just me, or does it put anybody else in a bad mood instantly to find a band-aid stuck to the bottom of your foot? Isaac saw me snap this picture and you'd think I had found his missing gopher snake, "Hey Mom, good job! I was wondering where that went!"

Notes

In one of our favorite movies, The Kid, Russ asks his friend, "If someone calls you a jerk three times in one day, does that make it true?" How about two?

Isaac's response to the thorough tongue lashing they all received right around chore time.

Clara's response to being sent to her room "for the rest of the week," right after the thorough tongue lashing, right around chore time.

Both were slipped under my door during two of my several time-outs. What a day. Glad it's over.

Make-up

The kidlets woke up WAY too early yesterday morning. In an effort to stay in bed just a few more minutes I diverted Clara's request to get ready for church by suggesting she get me ready... while I lay here. Delighted, she ran and grabbed my make-up bag and a brush and got busy.

Wish the details showed up more. I looked like a cross between the Joker and a drag queen.

Minus a poke in the eye with an errant mascara wand and a lot of powder up the nostrils, she did about as well as I do the job!

Tithing

The kids earned some money on Saturday, so the Bishop was bombarded with little Allen tithing envelopes today. I was especially amused by Will's. He enlisted his sister's help in labeling the envelope, minus his name. The picture is of a penny. Old Abe was smiling in this one. (Note: For those of you having trouble reading the name, think like a dyslexic.)

Applicable Today

Best Halloween Costume Award

My brother, above in all his Panamanian glory, won hands down. I hate clowns. Always have, always will. They're creepy--all of them--and David was the personification of everything I fear about them.He went into their local McDonald's on the big day. They gave him a free hamburger because they liked his costume and miming skills so much. He took it out to the median in the busy intersection outside and tried to do a little free marketing by giving it away to passing cars. Nobody would take it. As we laughed about it I could see the lightbulbs going on and he concluded that his new money-making scheme is going to be giving out hamburgers in that intersection every day and see how much McDonald's will pay him to go away. Yes. He wins the creepy Halloween costume award.Here's the whole happy family: Kathryn was THE disco mamma (and I'm disappointed I wasn't there to fix her hair. It's one of my favorite things to do.), Mr. Creepy, and Grace the flower fairy who looks a little afraid of her dad. It's okay, Gracie. So am I.

"James Grey... oh James," I called, "go and get your booster seat for dinner, please!"

"Otay, Momma!"

Conference

Elder Marlin K. Jensen of the Seventy visited our stake conference this last weekend. Where meetings are sometimes a drag, Michael and I both agreed these were particularly good. I was riveted the entire two hours during the adult session. It might have had something to do with the fact that I didn't have six kids climbing on me (Michael took them trick or treating. I was at the piano for a special musical number so I had to go--twist my arm!), but Elder Jensen was a particularly interesting, experienced, insightful speaker. He is an attorney so his thought process and logic especially appealed to me, he reminded me of my dad. You can always spot them! I wish I could have recorded the whole thing so I could reproduce it here, but I'll spare you all and leave the elaborations for my journal.

One of many thoughts that struck me was that "the license of a parent will become the liberty of the child." That is, he said, perhaps the best argument for orthodoxy. It made me take a hard look and determine just how this counsel applies, as it assuredly does.

So while Michael was at his stake leadership meeting I was finishing up with soccer games and the lawn. But what was Michael doing while I was away at my meeting? I walked in the door, called "Honey, I'm home! What have you all been up to?"

He grinned his rascally grin and said, " I've been busy."

(It is possible a clarification is in order: Notice that Isaac is missing his top two teeth, and Meg the bottom two. Dad's been busy indeed. Isaac said his hope is that they won't start growing in until after Christmas so that he can sing All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. Clara thinks that's dumb. She wants her's to grow in ASAP because "they're going to be really big and sharp for biting." I assume she means biting her dinner.)